total lie. i hardly even get that quote. after awhile of thinking, yes, i see what they're trying to say.. when you truly love someone, you accept them for who they are, don't judge, but graciously bear their faults. and all that is well and good. but being in love with someone, as the one who is doing the faulting? you should WANT to say i'm sorry, want to make things right, feel bad about hurting them, and try to change your ways.
anyways, i don't want to preach tonight, it's one in the morning. but that's okay! because tomorrow is friday and i can sleep in, as my dad keeps pointing out. though not too much because i want to clean house and pack well before five when jenny and i head out for biblestudy retreat with CSUN.
i didn't really want to go to retreat. i mean, there's not a whole lot in it for me, strategically speaking. i'm not part of the biblestudy, i won't be until next semester, if then. i don't surf or do well in the sun period, and it's a beach thing.. but i'm not opposed to going, by any means. and i will make fun out of it and enjoy myself.
this is actually the first time a retreat has fallen during a period of my life when i am chaotically busy and a retreat from the normal schedule might be super appreciated. that is, i'm hoping it is indeed restful. physically and mentally! as well as spiritually. though being chaotically busy always helps my spirit more than anything... when i read on the schedule we'll be getting up to surf from 6-9 every morning before breakfast i wondered about the physically restful bit. but it would be cool if i learn how to surf. while i'm still a southern califonria babe. ew..it's rally weird to refer to yourself as a babe.
i am not a babe.
we'll say hippie instead.
though i'm technically not a hippie either. but how's this for qualification points? i smelled bad in trigonometry class tonight. i sat next to one of my four new friends in that class, a biology major who looks like a music major (long hair, skinny arms, nice, protruding nose) named mohammad, and at one point i pulled my knee up and hugged it for a few seconds before deciding.. if could smell that repulsive odor from my jeans? he most certainly could too.
these jeans smell bad no matter how much they were just taken from the shelf. i keep my jeans on a book shelf. it started after high school summer camp back, three years ago i think it must be now. they got super muddy in an epic game of something or other. and covered in nasty moldy caf. food. but the odor never washed out.
they look like hippie jeans too, cuz the wholes are shot in both sides and there's a big, homemade flower print patch on the left knee.
trigonometry class was fun, as always. prof. siever told us fifty-five minutes after our three and a half hour class starts, that he "actually has something he needs to go to" and we're dismissed. incredible! i love this guy. such a great professor. and the first ever, by my experience, to schedule personal appointments during his official class time. ("pardon me, folks, i gotta dash off now. there's this..thing. see you next week!")
yes so, my late night math buddies are: olga, the pretty, sensible, even voiced and confident A-student who always stays very late, later even than me, to do her homework, there's pagah, a cute, hard working, question asking, young lady who strikes me as part hindi? but she's not as dark as most indians and her facial features are a little less striking. she's very nice.. and then mohammad, with his loose button downs, and, of course, the slightly strange astronomy enthusiast who gives me the eyes and tries to impress us with the occasional profanity. i didn't notice until to night that his arm is completely covered in vibrantly coloured but very ugly tatoos. like this pathetic two dimensional rattle snake? if you're going to get a tatoo..pay the money to have an actual artist put something permanent that you won't mind looking at for hours of your life. also, i noticed just tonight that one of the A-students from my geometry class last semester is in this class too. i'll have to say "hi" to her next week.
i didn't mention his before but, in lab on tuesday? for chem. eugene discovered he was pushing the wrong exponent key for all his dimensional analysis problems and therefore missed every single question on the quiz, save one. giving him the grand total of five. (i got 28, out of thirty. yey.) he was a good student about it and redid it immediately, explained to the professor, but found no relief or sympathy within our hard nosed, purely logical mr. fickel. he said he'd just drop this quiz and do better from now on and that was the end of that but, he ditched wednesday and today so..i'm worried. he better not drop-out on me...
we're supposed to get our monologues in the mail this week, for acting. i hope mine's sad.
well, i want to go floss and sleep now. but if you know anything on proven risks in the use of nanoparticles in commercial products, please, by all means, let me know A.S.A.P. my speech could be so much more convincing if someone actually finds a significant, proven risk before i deliver. speeches warning against rampant successful scientific progress due to the unknown possible risks involved are way less exciting than, "hey, guess what? all those cosmetics and sunscreens y'all are using? and your vitamin supplements? and your sport tank? those are causing hexagons of silver to clog up in the cell membranes of your brain. you're all gunna die."
Friday, September 18, 2009
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
sparkling days
the weather is so fine. i just Love fall. (if you want a detailed description of why? ask for it in your comment.)
so today, i was at school from 8am til 7pm. that's.. a long time at school. so this is gunna be short and sweet.
but i'm motivated. motivated to
a) do good on the speech team and win at nationals
b) post on my blog every day, or at least weekday, as i should have been doing all this year, because, this is all just too interesting to pass by unrecorded.
cool things happened today, this long day. including but not limited to, me being late for every single class, save one, being walked across campus by a long haired, graceful, thoughtful, predator-esque boy named andrew, and having the vice president of the ASU pursue me as a debate partner. woot!
and i have decided to cease referring to my forensics coaches by their first name. they shall hence forth be addressed as mr. smith and mr. miller. but on my blog i still may call them dwaune and josh..
okay, these posts are terrible. i need to stop.
so today, i was at school from 8am til 7pm. that's.. a long time at school. so this is gunna be short and sweet.
but i'm motivated. motivated to
a) do good on the speech team and win at nationals
b) post on my blog every day, or at least weekday, as i should have been doing all this year, because, this is all just too interesting to pass by unrecorded.
cool things happened today, this long day. including but not limited to, me being late for every single class, save one, being walked across campus by a long haired, graceful, thoughtful, predator-esque boy named andrew, and having the vice president of the ASU pursue me as a debate partner. woot!
and i have decided to cease referring to my forensics coaches by their first name. they shall hence forth be addressed as mr. smith and mr. miller. but on my blog i still may call them dwaune and josh..
okay, these posts are terrible. i need to stop.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
culturally diverse
so, i've always known valley is a ghetto place. but actually? it's not. because ghetto implies one dominant ethnic group, and valley, is like...Ellis Island. i have many friends here that are first generation immigrants, and for at least half of them, english is a second or third language. but it's good, because meeting, hearing, and understanding these various cultures has helped to destroy some of my prejudices, stem racism, and even shown me i love aspects of many of the cultures i formerly held in disdain.
examples.
when i first came to valley, i was a young thing of but fifteen or fourteen. and i was pretty much openly disdainful of the average "lazy" hispanic citizen, or as i would generalize them, "illegal". but as quickly as i realized i was turning racist, i quelled the feelings by gaining understanding. having my eyes opened from personal relationships with individual hispanics and mostly from just observing them, on the streets of LA, in their houses, and at LAVC. i recognized and admired a key characteristic of their society that ours rather lacks, in my opinion, and that is the focus on family. hispanics really seem to care about the home, respecting elders, and loving siblings, etc. it's heartwarming. *deleted possibly offensive statement*
but valley didn't contribute to that revelation as much as just, L.A. in general.
today, however, my eyes were opened to yet another side of some situation i've only been able to apprise from one angle. and that is sept. 11, from the point of view of an arab in pennsylvania.
in my chemistry class, one of my many interesting classmates is an older arab guy named abbra. and he got to talking to me a long time after class one morning. it started, i think, as where he's headed in life, but that required a lot of fascinating back story, beginning with him attending duke university for pharmacy school when the hijacked plane was crashed there. people close to the attacks were much more emotionally rattled and enraged to the point of action. so much so that, seven indian guys were murdered in his area, the attackers mistaking their head wraps as indications they were muslim, and therefore terrorists.
abbra fled pennsylvania for southern california, where all we see are images on tv, and cultural diversity is much more accepted as a general rule anyways. he had no finished education yet, but he spoke fluent arabic, so the united states military hired him, for a very decent sum, to be a requisitor? i think it's called? he worked in Baghdad during the two years of War on Terror and had very high up authority security card (he showed me) and at one point, a yellow ambassador-group badge, there were only six or seven of those. his job was to get whatever items the army couldn't succeed in getting themselves. he made the necessary phone calls and got that item. whatever anyone wanted. and he had two weeks paid vacation every three months to anywhere in the world. they all did. those people working in what was called the 'green zone' (very secure headquarters area). it was the military's recompense for the stress of being potentially bombed/killed every day.
so in the process of earning lots of money and cool experience, he traveled the world for free. told me about amsterdam in particular.
but then the war ended and he came back to california, still unable to get a job. so he went to valley college for a year and a half, and then transferred to CSUN and got his BA in psychology in three years. but he still couldn't get a job. so he's back at valley now, for his final 36 units, before he can transfer back to Duke Uni. and get his doctor's pharmacist certificate, which will, he promises, secure him a well-paying position at any pharmacy as soon as he graduates.
anyways, neat guy. and he opened my eyes a bit to a whole new life that's being lived by many people.
whoever said fear is the cause of hate was so right. the unknow scares us and therefore we automatically dislike it. educate yourself, and i'm not talking books. travel. talk to people, the real people from the real situations and places, and that, is a true education that will help shape your worldview.
i have a musician friend, no older than myself, who just, just came here on a green card from switzerland. another friend, anniate, who is armenian and still has a long ways to go on her english and comprehension. at one point i was walking to the book store and had both of these lovely ladies talking to me at once, on either side, in their respective accents and broken english. it was awesome. foreigners are so bold! they'll interrupt, get in your personal space, follow you around, impose. ah, life is good! people are wonderful, and God is Awesome.
examples.
when i first came to valley, i was a young thing of but fifteen or fourteen. and i was pretty much openly disdainful of the average "lazy" hispanic citizen, or as i would generalize them, "illegal". but as quickly as i realized i was turning racist, i quelled the feelings by gaining understanding. having my eyes opened from personal relationships with individual hispanics and mostly from just observing them, on the streets of LA, in their houses, and at LAVC. i recognized and admired a key characteristic of their society that ours rather lacks, in my opinion, and that is the focus on family. hispanics really seem to care about the home, respecting elders, and loving siblings, etc. it's heartwarming. *deleted possibly offensive statement*
but valley didn't contribute to that revelation as much as just, L.A. in general.
today, however, my eyes were opened to yet another side of some situation i've only been able to apprise from one angle. and that is sept. 11, from the point of view of an arab in pennsylvania.
in my chemistry class, one of my many interesting classmates is an older arab guy named abbra. and he got to talking to me a long time after class one morning. it started, i think, as where he's headed in life, but that required a lot of fascinating back story, beginning with him attending duke university for pharmacy school when the hijacked plane was crashed there. people close to the attacks were much more emotionally rattled and enraged to the point of action. so much so that, seven indian guys were murdered in his area, the attackers mistaking their head wraps as indications they were muslim, and therefore terrorists.
abbra fled pennsylvania for southern california, where all we see are images on tv, and cultural diversity is much more accepted as a general rule anyways. he had no finished education yet, but he spoke fluent arabic, so the united states military hired him, for a very decent sum, to be a requisitor? i think it's called? he worked in Baghdad during the two years of War on Terror and had very high up authority security card (he showed me) and at one point, a yellow ambassador-group badge, there were only six or seven of those. his job was to get whatever items the army couldn't succeed in getting themselves. he made the necessary phone calls and got that item. whatever anyone wanted. and he had two weeks paid vacation every three months to anywhere in the world. they all did. those people working in what was called the 'green zone' (very secure headquarters area). it was the military's recompense for the stress of being potentially bombed/killed every day.
so in the process of earning lots of money and cool experience, he traveled the world for free. told me about amsterdam in particular.
but then the war ended and he came back to california, still unable to get a job. so he went to valley college for a year and a half, and then transferred to CSUN and got his BA in psychology in three years. but he still couldn't get a job. so he's back at valley now, for his final 36 units, before he can transfer back to Duke Uni. and get his doctor's pharmacist certificate, which will, he promises, secure him a well-paying position at any pharmacy as soon as he graduates.
anyways, neat guy. and he opened my eyes a bit to a whole new life that's being lived by many people.
whoever said fear is the cause of hate was so right. the unknow scares us and therefore we automatically dislike it. educate yourself, and i'm not talking books. travel. talk to people, the real people from the real situations and places, and that, is a true education that will help shape your worldview.
i have a musician friend, no older than myself, who just, just came here on a green card from switzerland. another friend, anniate, who is armenian and still has a long ways to go on her english and comprehension. at one point i was walking to the book store and had both of these lovely ladies talking to me at once, on either side, in their respective accents and broken english. it was awesome. foreigners are so bold! they'll interrupt, get in your personal space, follow you around, impose. ah, life is good! people are wonderful, and God is Awesome.
Monday, September 14, 2009
monday.
so, i realized this completely slipped my mind over the weekend, but thanks to my lovely big sister, i'm back for the week.
the weekend wasn't a huge deal anyways. i had a good time, slept a lot, babysat, made a bit of money, had my good opinion of the world at large fortified. (there really are good people left in the world. a lot of us. go to the park on a saturday. particularly the baby sand box area. count the ratio of fathers with their babies, to...anyone else with a baby. it's shocking. and adorable.)
monday. today. was alright. not the best, no overtures from strange, foreign men today. there were a couple of neat things, like: singing an impromptu solo in front of fifty people, having the speech team coach make fun of my weird looking asian lunch--(oh, did i mention? i drove to the asian market, yes, I drove. and picked up a lifetime supply of steamed buns. actually, i think i mentioned this in pretty much the exact wording last post. it's late, i'm tired. give me a break.)(plus, this is a good indication of what an impact that event has had on me. big deal, people.)
one thing i will say before i go crash in my depressingly dirty and havoc-ed bed/room, i determined to be cute and dressy today. so i wore my highest little black heals (LOVE those things. when they die, i will cry. and i'm quite prepared to spend mega bucks* to get as close as possible to those beauties again... they are...by far the best pair of heals i have ever experienced. and i think i was either given them, or stumbled upon them..in anycase, i never paid for them, and have ne'er seen shoes like this for sale..ANYWAYS) i wore my heals, and my skinny black jeans, and my new, lava flavored, French-painter-smock/anime-school-girl-collar/little, bunchy-thing-at-the-collar blouse. which, mom insisted was cute and "me" and i still don't have the guts to wear in public. so i kept my coat on almost the entire time.
my awesome coat.
i'll post pictures someday. it's quite the best thing i've bought in a very long while. and that i did buy. but my bestie had to pay for at least half of it. i think more than half actually... i'm such a hippie... but i'm glad she convinced me to buy it.
anyways! so i was wearing my heals all day. and i did feel cute, but with my backpack which weighs as much as me (thanks to the freakin' $100 chemistry textbook!) i think i did my knees in. at the time it didn't hurt cuz, a) the Shoes are extremely comfortable and never cause my feet pain, and b) the intense, chronic pain my wee shoulders endure while wearing that backpack? pretty much tuned out any faint, suggestions on the part of my common sense that i was being a bit ridiculous to my knees.
bear in mind i have class from 8am-4:10pm. and i was smart enough to schedule things so that i have to walk, completely, across, campus, at least three times a day. it's.. fun.
well, 12:12. good time to say good night.
have a sweet dream,
until tomorrow.
i promise.
listening to: To Be Alone With You, by Sufjan Stevens (love it!)
*mega bucks in julia's world meaning, $50+
the weekend wasn't a huge deal anyways. i had a good time, slept a lot, babysat, made a bit of money, had my good opinion of the world at large fortified. (there really are good people left in the world. a lot of us. go to the park on a saturday. particularly the baby sand box area. count the ratio of fathers with their babies, to...anyone else with a baby. it's shocking. and adorable.)
monday. today. was alright. not the best, no overtures from strange, foreign men today. there were a couple of neat things, like: singing an impromptu solo in front of fifty people, having the speech team coach make fun of my weird looking asian lunch--(oh, did i mention? i drove to the asian market, yes, I drove. and picked up a lifetime supply of steamed buns. actually, i think i mentioned this in pretty much the exact wording last post. it's late, i'm tired. give me a break.)(plus, this is a good indication of what an impact that event has had on me. big deal, people.)
one thing i will say before i go crash in my depressingly dirty and havoc-ed bed/room, i determined to be cute and dressy today. so i wore my highest little black heals (LOVE those things. when they die, i will cry. and i'm quite prepared to spend mega bucks* to get as close as possible to those beauties again... they are...by far the best pair of heals i have ever experienced. and i think i was either given them, or stumbled upon them..in anycase, i never paid for them, and have ne'er seen shoes like this for sale..ANYWAYS) i wore my heals, and my skinny black jeans, and my new, lava flavored, French-painter-smock/anime-school-girl-collar/little, bunchy-thing-at-the-collar blouse. which, mom insisted was cute and "me" and i still don't have the guts to wear in public. so i kept my coat on almost the entire time.
my awesome coat.
i'll post pictures someday. it's quite the best thing i've bought in a very long while. and that i did buy. but my bestie had to pay for at least half of it. i think more than half actually... i'm such a hippie... but i'm glad she convinced me to buy it.
anyways! so i was wearing my heals all day. and i did feel cute, but with my backpack which weighs as much as me (thanks to the freakin' $100 chemistry textbook!) i think i did my knees in. at the time it didn't hurt cuz, a) the Shoes are extremely comfortable and never cause my feet pain, and b) the intense, chronic pain my wee shoulders endure while wearing that backpack? pretty much tuned out any faint, suggestions on the part of my common sense that i was being a bit ridiculous to my knees.
bear in mind i have class from 8am-4:10pm. and i was smart enough to schedule things so that i have to walk, completely, across, campus, at least three times a day. it's.. fun.
well, 12:12. good time to say good night.
have a sweet dream,
until tomorrow.
i promise.
listening to: To Be Alone With You, by Sufjan Stevens (love it!)
*mega bucks in julia's world meaning, $50+
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